Occasional Diary: Safar Badnamah

Showing posts with label Safar Badnamah – Season 1. Show all posts

Safar Badnamah (Season 1, Episode 15) “It was flying!!! And those sons of the same Bitch!

We are living up to the rule of our Quaid for having a work day tomorrow, a study day rather for not having an off. Well what’s the point of getting an off for no special reason at all …How are we benefitting Iqbal or the country by taking a day off? Ok .. ok … I’m being I don’t know what …

Today was an epic journey … it could have been the last for many in that over crowded bus and thanks to shopaholics for gifting us with a beautiful traffic jam …

I left home pretty much on time later unable to cross a pretty easy road not knowing what the bus ride would be like today.

These buses follow a strict time schedule otherwise the drivers get fined, I waited for my 5:30 pm bus but there seemed to be no movement on the road amidst the steamed menu of a wonderful traffic jam. My bus was 10 minutes late but it did come. This chaos was making the already frustrated drivers more annoyed in both Pushtou and Urdu alike … The so called or so seemed educated people rather were at the throats of not at fault so called ‘uneducated’ Pathan bus drivers. It took me a good half an hour at Khalid bin Waleed Road with traffic pouring in from all sides of the roads like hot tea on vulnerable skin … it was more like acne … arghh!

The bus was hardly moving, the next thing I know is that it was flying!!! It was flying never to stop again!!! And you know what?!?!?!?! It continued to fly even on the flyover. There I saw tiny clustered sparkles of ruby and diamond on the road underneath … Shahra-e-Faisal … ahem … I mean they were lights of jam packed vehicles. The bus continued to fiddle with inertia and fool around with gravity with I’m sure one side up in the air a little … I grabbed the nearest pole to keep from falling to the other corner of the bus … if that crazy driver’s driving style could try dragging a fat person like me to the other side of the bus in ‘flying motion’ what could it have done to somebody thin?

The bus was flying I mean it! And so were people inside it. It was flying sideways, in waves … anything but in one straight path! There was a woman with a very tolerant baby who was sweating because Karachi’s weather is still undergoing mood swings. I witnessed the horrified motherly love for her baby and rose lipstick adorned lips reciting prayers, the mom urged the driver to drive like human beings though in a very civilized way but he was too high on his dose of traffic jam. In less than 10 minutes we were at Regent Plaza …

What came next was the heritage of traffic related problems … yes Jinnah Hospital, all the way to Cantt Station. People were cursing and abusing each other, there was one way traffic on both sides of the road which puked indigestible vehicles from all over … The motherly love; those three ladies decided to get off for the sake of their babies at least and take a rickshaw instead … The bus driver made a failed attempt at flying the bus with vehicles stuffed around! Give me a break! The bus hadn’t grown wings yet… Oh dear … and then when the road cleared again, oh my God! It was flying again! It probably was fueled with Red Bull instead of diesel … Rs 17 was too less to ask for in this plane then …

Thankfully I was able to reach Dou Talwar though awfully late, I reached school a little around 7:00 trying to be nice to my lungs while almost flying myself, it wasn’t quite a walk neither was I running …

I made it! I made it! I made it to class! I wonder what those many shopaholics wanted with us today; it seemed as if all of them decided to pour down at once! You can’t blame the goats and cows, there weren’t any being transported … none that I saw and well … goodness! You don’t want my opinion on the act, ‘shopping’.

I remember on the first day of this semester, something went wrong in the city and our classes got cancelled, it was that tantrum producing huge baby in London and his obnoxious acts in Karachi that shook our city again. I went with my friend (Paras) to her place waiting to be picked up by my brother there …

Today she told me that her 3 year old nephew was getting ready and had changed to come meet me but I had left already … He was so sad for not being able to meet me but he really admired me to an extent that he wants to be named Hiba as well! Hahaha!

My class ended and it was time to wait for the bus at Dou Talwar again … I waited for about 10 to 15 minutes and wanted to look so ugly and scary that I could scare the hell out of perverts … Bloody, dogs! Stalkers in cars. One stopped honking his horn like shit asking me in, then within 5 minutes another stopped by gesturing the same crazy shit! I wanted to damage his car and I mean it! I really wanted to smash that bastard’s windshield with a rock if only my bus hadn’t come then. I could have beaten the crap out of him … Those two were probably sons of the same bitch! I have seen weird women coming in front of cars at that place at night but I’m sure I don’t even look close to what they are like … I didn’t believe it first but they have a dress code.

What was a flying and stuck experience on my way to school turned out to be a slow donkey paced ride on my way back home but it was pretty smooth without reminding what death could be like …

Today as I got done with my ‘Emerging Media’ rib cage shattering, mouth collapsing humourous class I realized that I would get roasted again to wait for my bus … well that I later did unlike after fourth time slot classes when the stupid bus doesn’t come at all anymore …

While I was getting barbecued, there was still hope to get the bus though over whelmed with the target audience of Sea View but I thank God that this class of mine starts in the morning to end at an appropriate time when the situation isn’t as bad … you know… tiny feet filled with wet sand and exchange of coconut pieces within the enormous family of families … ‘The Khaaandaaaaaan’ all in one bus.

This time I didn’t observe much because I dozed off within a few minutes of being privileged with having a seat. Thanks to the electricity loadshedding situation it’s difficult to keep a balance between work and sleep. Since I go through a logging off session at times, it is my duty of utmost importance to guard my mouth which thankfully stays shut during these power naps in the bus … I have seen people sleeping, falling to sides and worst of all with their mouths so wide open so as to reveal the throat tunnels and teeth … I feel bad for these people especially when I try to imagine myself in their position which is never happening in reality for God’s sake.

What I did recall was the billboards I observed a few days ago and those awfully cheap songs again. Why do some Pathans have a taste for Indian cheap songs that no one listens to. I remember this song from last week’s ride:

“Tum agar saamnay aa bhi jaya karo, laazmi hai kay mein bhi pardah karoon. Shaadi kay din abb kareeb haen!”

I mean what the hell is this? Don’t make me translate this crap, it was already buzzing on top of my head and some things have a tendency to later buzz inside your head because their ‘annoyance’ has a good recall.

What I really liked was StoneAge’s ‘Perfect Fit’ and ‘Relaxed Fit’ billboards. The former shows a figure of a girl some would want to kill to get while some fat people like me would want such perfect looking jeans to fit them someday and enhance their esteem or social needs. Yes I know what you are thinking: … “Whateverrrrr! Maslow’s hierarchy” The painful looking stilettos worn are … well … painful.

Similarly, when we see along the same product lines, there is Levi’s billboard regarding recycling, ‘Recycle Happiness’. I wish I could take a picture with my ‘hoping to be replaced with Nokia, Sony Ericsson mobile phone. I want to sell it for Rs. 100 and buy popcorns.

Well that was an attracting billboard too.

Then there was this billboard by McDonald’s about their value deals which don’t seem value generating at all especially when you buy Sundae and find it half empty. Oh common let’s be optimistic here, it’s ‘half fully filled!’

Teddy Charles name still endorses Sunsilk’s billboard just outside the cemetery, the surroundings need it … ghosts need a reason to flaunt off their hair or decide for the sweet melon fragrance Pantene instead, both choices are right there ‘fighting’ for their brand.

Last but not the least, Panadol decided to make use of it’s OTC status by advertising … ‘Maira Bharosa’ … The billboard plays a reminder function to have this food in your bag to kill migraine produced by bad weather or by the weirdest songs played in the bus …

At times I wonder what the exact target audience is for outdated cheap and weird songs, however, if you have had the chance of travelling in a public bus you would know. I am still not amazed to know that quite a lot of people around me haven’t been in a public bus or rickshaw for that matter . . . Rickshaw?!! Oh common give me a break! How can anyone not sit in that joy ride, the flying jet rickshaw, I just love the old version not the CNG one that crawls inspite of it’s wonderful spacious attribute.

Some make an excuse that they cannot wear the duppatta the way I wear to have to travel in a public bus or that their parents won’t allow them no matter how much they are genuinely interested . . . For the first one . .. What’s wrong in covering your head and tying your hair at least while being out? To me a traditional look is modernism and then the ‘running short of time, flying buses’ are fun to be in as long as you are sitting.

Yesterday while I was waiting for the bus I witnessed outright stupidity; it was some PPP rally with hundreds of bikes adorning the so called ‘double sawari’ and that too with police vehicles for their safety, what was more annoying was the fact that it was 9:40 and my stupid bus had still not come after waiting for about 15 minutes and I felt like blowing the cars that slow down to honk their horns at the very place. Anyway, this was not the first time when roads got blocked at Dou Talwar, there are times when these idiotic politicians pass by in their ‘rip off nation and buy BMW’s’ to make their presence prominent and waste our valuable time on the road. If they ever get to bring their bulky selves out of their cars they would know how it feels like wasting our time.

Anyway, I got into the bus to find some old Indian songs being played and I must say old is not always gold . . . I recalled the time when some awfully cheap songs were being played by the bus driver and I simply cannot forget them, just imagine the silly lyrics and the person who wrote these:

“Maira dil chahey tujhe kiss karoon lekin public kharee hai, mai kiya karoon!” It was a series of cheap songs; I don’t remember the rest though.

Oh God! What goes into the minds of these people?! And then there was another one: “Chitthee aa’ee hai aa’ee hai, chitthee aa’ee hai” . . . that made me wonder the last time I would have written a physical letter, thanks to emails that isn’t needed at all anymore and that shouldn’t be needed hopefully.

“Hum tou chaley pardais hum perdaisee hoga’ay . . .” . . . “Duflee waalay duflee baja!” The last one is stuck in my head since a week now . . . when I’m sitting alone, this one pops in my head and can’t stop bugging me, it gets so annoying, thankfully it didn’t reprise in my midterm.

I don’t remember the exact line but it was very catchy . . . the one put up by McDonalds about their Rs. 100 items mentioning their cost effective purchases in just this amount, however, the amount might be their USP, the quantity has been reduced substantially, it’s easy to lose customers this way.

Then there are these billboards by Sunsilk and Pantene with the former trying to win the self invited competition with their cheeky monkey line, “Tried & Decided”. What effect would these brand wars have on consumer buying decision and influencers? None maybe . . . people will buy the shampoo they have been buying or the one that suits their hair. It’s more of a “My baby is cuter than yours you weird mom! style or “Mairay bachha ziyada gora hai”.

Photo Courtesy: www.theideaartist.com

They have placed their billboards at every other place where Pantene’s is even when they changed their message they are there opposite or in front of their competitor. When notorious kids grow up to be marketers maybe this is what happens. .. :)

Maybe it's never too bad to pull each other's legs but that won't have a profound effect on the ultimate consumer . . .

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These days roads are too crowded to leave an individual in a sane condition but when you pass by billboards you are sure to get attracted towards them.

For instance, there is this billboard by McDonald’s that I can’t take my eyes off every day as the bus passes through Allah wala round about; it’s about some relief funds for flood victims and the execution strategy is just awesome. They have a magnified picture of victims, few of the most beautiful children they picked up for the billboard with the brilliant line; “Let’s drain out the ‘L’ from FLOOD to make it food!” What a beautiful mind that would have thought out such a creative line . . .

Then as we go towards Nursery flyover there is another billboard by McDonald’s again that says, ‘McDonald’s ki Iftari Sub Pey Bhari!’ For some reason it reminds me of the wall chalking we get to see with the so called famous tag line, ‘Aik Zardari Sub Pey Bhari!’ And it’s most probably coming from the same mind that thought about the ‘Kiya cheez hai’ campaign . . . how cheap, that cheese (cheez) seemingly had two meanings.

Anyway the picture of their delicious meal really makes you want to have it but it seems way too much, I’m content with their Happy Meal, it’s more than enough and their toys too are amazing at times.

Talking about this brand makes me recall their Eid Campaign in India which I chanced upon a few days ago . . . in simple words it explains you without words what real creativity is . . . have a look.

Their creative agency is Leo Burnett, New Dehli while the copywriter is Rondeep Gogoi and Art work is by Sumonto Ghosh. What could have been more creative than this for a fast food chain?

So this was the interesting stuff but what I encountered later after Dou Talwar was awful . . . it was death and disgust and extremely sad. As I got off the bus and went past the petrol pump I accosted the same dead kitten on the barrier that I saw a day before but the poor thing was rotting even more compared to the last time I saw it . . . and just before that barrier there was a bird at the corner of the road throwing up something it had realized it couldn’t take in! EWE! It just threw up!My observation is not disgusting it’s just what I saw while I was trying to cross the road with eyes wide open . . . For a person who throws up at the sight of Altaf Hussain’s picture shared on Facebook this was way too much to relax myself from puking away!

I finally crossed the road and took a turn towards the street adjacent to Jesus n Mary. There was a test of my fasting lying right infront of me . . . yes . . . another dead kitten but with it’s head gone, it had almost flattened on the road. It made me jump and I tried my best to refrain my Sehri from regurgitating into my throat and wind pipe . . . yes larynx (something I remember from O’Levels Biology). WHY? Why did I have to see all this today? This was all extremely sad . . . such tragedy gives you goose bumps but unfortunately we have live humans being chopped off these days.

It’s difficult to see an animal in this condition and I can’t even imagine a human being let to decay in a condition worst than this which is becoming inevitable these days . . . People are becoming more of butchers and less of humans . . .

I took deep breaths and walked on . . . I finally entered 100 and saw our very own healthy cat . . . rather obese cat . . . waiting to be patted before the Strategic Management class . . . yeah mate? :P

Somebody got relaunched after 20 years . . . Pakistan has changed and this seems to be a major change when you return after these 20 years . . . Hmmmm . . .

Yesterday as I was going for my class everything seemed calm and quiet unlike the situation overall. One reason I like classes on Sunday’s is because there are no traffic jams and classes are in the morning, however, those still ending in the evening this particular day still disgust me as then the return in the bus is with the target market of Sea View and Jinnah Hospital as I have mentioned quite a few times before as well.

On my way to school I couldn’t help admire Peek Freans billboard that endorsed a huge picture of their biscuit gift pack . . . yes it was at the same place other than the flyover opposite to FTC . . . it was at the same biscuit corner of biscuit front, the same place where Bakeri’s billboard used to be when they used to be out of stock . . . it was at the turning point of Punjab Colony as you take the road towards Forum . . .if only I could take a picture, if only the seatS occupying elephant wasn’t next to be squeezing my remaining fat and bones . . .

In the class we were made to watch ‘Soldier Boy’s’ MOST annoying video that brought us at the verge of begging our teacher to stop it because it was annoying in all ways but good for the teacher he had gone out for a while. These videos make us realise that in order to be an entrepreneur you could be the most irritating, annoying and crazy person on earth but good for you the target market could be like you as well, your seemingly small idea could turn out to be a big idea . . . This world is not a small place when it comes to accommodating lunatics. . .

On my way back it took ages to get the bus . . . Sunday remember? I still liked the space I got to occupy . . .ahhh . . . less people finally, less humans =P.

There was to land a lady whom I felt like chopping down and feeding to eagles . .. some people don’t deserve to live in Pakistan even if they are living peacefully. The woman who sat next to me after Teen Talwar was as obnoxious as I could have expected, or at times I just don’t feel like talking to people in the bus, in quietness there could be wisdom.

“Exxxcussssse me . . . Whut issss tyyymme?” she asked me, looking ashamed to speak her own language, or it was the way things appeared to be, I had to tell myself to get off with that stereotyping attitude but later whatever she said made me want to wrench her throat with the Pakistani flag itself.

At Cantt Station there was a poor guy who was unloading a bicycle off a huge bus, he had the bicycle on his head . . . well poverty can persuade you to handle various forms of burden.

“There is no check and balance and laws over here . . . “she said, “Pakistan is a village now nothing more.” She said sarcastically. Her pronunciation of forced and much thought about English words was tormenting for the ear and then she couldn’t stop bluffing about how the Goras have a great society and . . . “When goras come to Pakistan they become sick and have to leave in just a week.”

Well I had to tell her that it is our very own people who throw litter on the streets even if they have lived abroad and when you tell them not to pollute the roads and the streets they tell you that you aren’t living in NewYork.

But she couldn’t stop her conversation about well ‘angraize’. “Angraize take everybody together in their country and society but over here people just want to do everything for themselves only and go about finding their own ways!”

This was too much to bare, “Well then it is this angraize who then decides to attack and ruin other countries!” I told her . . . how selfish could they get to find their own goodwill in the other person’s despair. Even for the flood victims they promised to provide aid with one hand but are sending drones with the other hand as if they are origami planes! People like her like to live like slaves I guess . . . when you can’t do anything for Pakistan, at least don’t talk crap about it! Selfish morons!

And then there was traffic jam at the same place. “This is Pakistan” the bus conductor said sarcastically . . . but then I can attribute his words to ‘Jahalat’. This stupid woman couldn’t have agreed more with him. “Exactly my point!” he said laughing away.

Hello! Bus drivers! You are the ones who break traffic laws, over speed when you are running short of time because you will be fined if you don’t reach your destination on time! You drive buses like fighter planes at times and as result you are often the cause of traffic jams!

What has Pakistan got to do with all this? Why does the country get to be blamed for the foolishness the people are involved in?

Yesterday I got off from home to attend my evening class, I was surprised to have had hardly any sneeze of drizzle in our area while North Nazimabad was said to have witnessed cats and dogs.

I had left home hoping there won’t be any chaotic situation on the roads due to rain so that I would be able to reach my destination. However, the road was a mess and yes starting from Cantt Station again. My God! Why can’t I have a better route? Well this time it was a horrible traffic jam starting from that very place and according to the dilapidated post rain condition one would wish his/her sense of smell to stop functioning temporarily . . . at least in that area which is home to filth and garbage and people peeing around. Why can’t we learn to respect our street corners? These people just do it and look around before doing it to make sure no one’s watching, however, everybody is watching them. We should stop them! Our city isn’t a bathroom! Yes! I had developed a habit of keeping used batteries to target these jerks from my window.

Thank goodness the bus made through that area but to encounter another series of traffic jam at race course . . . no use of flyovers. This got me wondering what if I get a job how would I be able to reach for my classes on time. Well . . . what if? ‘If’ is a big question . . . I will see to it when there is any change in my situation why start worrying from now on?

The bus had just crossed Forum when the driver told that people to get at Dou Talwar should do so now, at KPT Underpass. Furious I wanted to know who the hell of any political figure had got the road blocked. I started off my fast paced walk while saying a little prayer for my phone since when you are walking alone you might get accompanied by someone all of a sudden. In this kind of situation all rickshaws seem absent even if only the big vehicles are not allowed. I walked and walked and finally saw the cause of such lunacy . . . This time it was the media channels with their vans! IDIOTS! EXTREME JAHILS for what they were doing. GEO and ARY vans were first to be seen with their ‘aliens to communicate with dish antennas’ on top of the vans.

They were protesting against the government to have banned their channels. I agree it was a very childish act by our government for doing so because the entire world knows that the president was attacked by shoes so there’s no way Pakistani citizens can be kept oblivious to this incident, it just availed another chance of being a cry baby. However, these media channels are better cry babies for blocking people’s way and protesting like this. They just gave an impression that they have nothing better to do in the world but to waste their time and other people’s time like that. What are they getting out of this act besides shooting this SHIT and playing this clip on TV. I’m sorry for using this term as I have never used it in any of my posts so far but this is how they made me feel. Bullshitters!

I’m also not saying all this because I had to walk all the way from the underpass to Dou Talwar and beyond to reach my school and that is what heated up my temper level but think about these selfish morons, they were protesting and causing problems for people on the road, people at Dou Talwar and people who had to reach that place. Too bad if you travel by public transport but what if there is no other choice. With their slogans, ‘GEO per paabandi namanzoor’ whom are they benefitting besides creating useless fuss.

And talk about their responsible citizenship! Ahh well they proved to be extreme and ultimate jahils! They point fingers at other people for being jahils or ruining the country, that no doubt they are doing but just look at how nicely these media channel employees were representing their companies and how they were being good to their roads and streets. There were PET bottles lying on the roads, those were the bottles that they would have protested with or maybe they drank the water and decided to throw the trash there only. Responsible citizens aren’t they?

They talk about others who are bad to public property and how electricity should be saved etcetera etcetera and how we can contribute towards being a better citizen. Remember their stupid Mr. Jeem . . . well it’s Jeem for Jahalat as well isn’t it? Their strong words, 'GEO Aur Jeenay Dou', doesn't apply to them when they themselves are required to use it in practical terms.

So they were just a value addition to the filth and garbage accumulated on the roads every day. Did somebody shoot that? No because they want to portray the stuff their own way why would they want to give the other side of the story no matter how insignificant or significant. But this was something very significant!

Had I left home on time and not way before time as I did I would have got late for my class because of these idiots! They weren’t doing anything worthwhile; we students are at least doing something significant by studying and not being monkeys on the roads like them!

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This semester started off with a very disturbed week when there was much of terrorism facilitated by the group whose own man was shot or probably his death was yet another excuse to spread chaos in the city. It’s easy to have one’s bulk in London and notorious followers in Karachi.

Then there was rain, rather . . . there is rain, beautiful rain but what a mess we witnessed in our Northern areas. What if there were more dams? Would they have avoided the turmoil our people are facing?

Today was the day when I had my complete three hour class, yes a Sunday! I love classes on Sundays provided my Saturdays are off but provided they would have been off.

This morning I felt too lazy to notice billboards, however, there were hardly any of them embellishing the roads, The place adjacent to FTC where there was Tarang’s, then Fruitilly’s and then Chocolate chip Cookies billboard one was without any today. Probably it’s time to be cautious regarding rain with respect to what happened in August 2006. Ahhh! Good old memories of BBA. This was the time when it rained cats and dogs in Karachi and billboards adorned with women’s pictures were accused of such disaster and for facilitating the wrath of nature. Some days after that, Karachi faced widowed roads as most of the billboards were removed.

Anyway . . . why have some billboards been removed? They didn’t have any pictures of women to begin with . . . What really is annoying is the picture of that guy with hair transplant, he is hanging on every other pole at Nursery flyover . . . However, National’s mom and kid billboard is pretty nice or probably it’s the attractive mom . . . That’s could be the wrong place to put it up, it could become the cause of accidents . . . Now who would want to have that on a flyover and that too at the turning point . . .

There were small pools on the way to school, what really grabbed my attention was the missing horse in front of Regent Plaza, yes the horse that would continuously change it’s colour from black to white and then again from white to black and the cycle would continue. I remember there was Sony Ericsson’s logo there . . . was it a branded horse? Not to mention this brand that I would blow up some day, it doesn’t deserve a life in the hands of capable citizens here. =P

What followed was the beginning of a disgusting nightmare yet again or rather the daily nightmare. It was Cantt Station with sewerage spills and piles of filth with crows having breakfast on and there was black water on both sides of the road. I can imagine what the organization, ‘Black Water’ means now . . . it means filth!

Inspite of this the bus sailed through the place with smooth drive which is never possible in that place.

I was admiring my class timings, the sooner the better as an afternoon class on Sunday would have meant adjusting in with the target market of Sea View on the way back. I have had good dinner so wouldn’t want to describe them just now.

The day was hot and humid to begin with and we had our ‘New Media’ class. Our teacher was asking everybody the purpose of us being in that class and why exactly we were there, what was it that we wanted to get out of this course.

With a reluctant and lazy to function mind today I didn’t know what to say so the remaining half of my mind decided to cover me up and manufacture a few words it could think of in the short while. “I think I am here to witness the obsolescence of old and traditional marketing concepts.” I said . . . Lame I know but this is what I could relate to and hence the course name. We probably would be finding out about how old concepts might not be much relevant in today’s world, well Principles of Marketing by Philip Kotler was written in the 1960’s. Why are we still following that? I mean the same old 4 and 7 P’s? Can’t there be anything new? I like the book but still . . .

These were perfect class timings, on my way back it had started drizzling and when the bus reached Cantt Station again . . . Oh my God! That was an awful drive! The road over there had recently been made from scratch but I guess the rainfall of Karachi is especially customized to suit the place with it being high on acidic content; acid rain only is manufactured for our roads to destroy then completely. Why can’t we have roads made properly that rain won’t wear them out or do they depreciate on a straight line basis with no residual value?

Anyway, there were deep holes after each plateau, and the bus had to crawl because with proper facilitation of kinetic energy or with proper speed gained it would have fallen on either side, left or right and yes in that over flowing gutter or silt. “Bham!” it fell with two front tyres falling into that hole and “Bham!” it fell again with the other two tyres falling into the same hole, after all the bus was moving at least if not being driven with proper Pathan spirit. It fell twice with the bham happening four times. Wasn’t this jargon used for gunshot? Never mind I can use it here as well.

Since yesterday the rain timings have been roughly 2 o’ clock and today again at around this time rain had started pouring in. I got off the bus to have a nice walk in the rain soaking myself till I reached home . . . May we have more rain everywhere but with no negative consequences. Ameen!

When I was in school and ever since I opted for a public bus in class eight for transportation as opposed to a school van which I vowed never to travel by again, my friends expressed how they would love to travel in a public bus and these thoughts really amazed me. Some of them had not even sat in a rickshaw. Oh common! How can anyone afford to miss the joy ride?

Today I was summoned by my home again . . . Yes Szabist that I probably am not leaving before another two years. A few days back I was thinking about PhD . . . Damn! What’s wrong with me???

Anyway, I left my original home to reach my second home, on my way to get the bus I was accosted by the beggar duet; husband and wife. I got reminded about the topless beggar who later started bringing his wife as well for begging. His persuading, painful, pitiful and attention grabbing voice always prompted people to do something for him. “Baabay ko roti khiladou baba bhooka hai,” he used to shout out at the top of his lungs (translation: “Feed the old man he is hungry.”). Given his old age, his vocal cords were really impressive, my mom gave him some clothes and yet the next time he was topless again. Later he was seen with his wife at various shopping centers.

There is one of the most renowned beggars at Tariq Road who is deaf and dumb and walks with a slate expressing the reason why is begs, it reads about God and his Prophet (PBUH) and that his children are very young. His kids have been young when I was a kid and I wonder how many of them there are that some are still young, I have been noticing him since class two and he has the same thing written. One of the shop keepers even challenged him and offered him a reward of Rs. 500 if he could talk.

While I was in the bus I missed my phone that is dead until repaired, I missed it for it’s camera because there were really cool billboards by Coca Cola and Mountain Dew. Coke had it’s logo printed with the beverage gushing effect while the latter continues to focus on it’s adventurous positioning. As the bus neared Cantt Station, I was surprised; I was not only surprised, I was awestruck and shaken by what I saw!!!!! Oh my goodness how can that be? That place now, finally has a road, a well spread out, smooth charcoal road, a ‘still black’ road, a newly formed road . . . well until heavy rainfall I guess. In these years of having this pathetic route never have I seen a road here and when it rains there are trenches to pull the bus down.

I love the location of my school not just it’s a central location but because of the wildlife around . . . well the real wildlife ofcourse! J Cuckoo birds, humming birds, storks, big WELL FED school cats, all are here.

When I reached the place, I saw tensed faces of human beings, well dressed quiet people with anxious looks and ahhh those faces reminded me of my day back during my time. Yes they were interviewees. I remember the question I was asked, though it was pretty unexpected, I was asked the meaning of my name and this meaning makes me laugh at myself at times. How can I talk about other faces when my own face probably goes pale and then colourless during such dreadful situations? Some people are just not comfortable talking about themselves at times.

Once I got done , it was time to go back, infact rush back because it had started raining kittens and puppies and in no time they would grow up. Finally I got the bus, crowded one and that stupid engine to sit on again, however, I was thankful that I am not standing at least. A few blocks away a few women entered burdened with their shopping menu and one of them placed herself next to me. Within no time he started feeling uncomfortable after all it was getting suffocating and sickening. She pulled out her shoe box lid to ward off the humid temperature around . . . Wow what a fan but good idea in this awfully hot weather. But to my surprise she just placed the lid underneath her . . . the engine side seat was becoming unbearable to sit and eventually she was feeling cooked.

Lately you can get to see the outcomes of latest fashion trends among ladies and guys with hair bands . . . It’s really weird how it appears that some women have worn three to four shirts with fabric flowing out from different corners and the wings they get with shirts. This topic is for coming discussions.

At my right side was a filthy pathan kid with some suspicious activity going on in her head, it’s not that I dislike pathans but the target market of Sea View and Jinnah Hospital is helplessly filthy I’m sorry!!! The woman with her pulled something out of her head and though I was trying to deny my eyes of what they thought they saw I controlled them from bulging out and running away. She had pulled out a lice and handed it over to that girl, those disgusting people!!! How can somebody afford to be so dirty? I wanted to puke in her head but tried taking deep breaths and tightened the dupatta borders on my head a little bit more to avoid any invasion. AARRRGHHH! :@

Later I chanced upon Coke Studio billboard, I felt not so good about the not so good season this time even though the billboard is awesome. They seem to be losing some charm but things should be remembered for the good quality they have produced and not for moment they falter . . .

Disclaimer: You have just read this post, this dull, pictureless post because my phone is almost dead, it needs to be repaired and, therefore, I can’t have a camera on the go.

Occasional Diary

Safar Badnamah (Season 1, Episode 15) “It was flying!!!"

Safar Badnamah, Season 1, Episode 14: “Ahh Billboards again …”

Safar Badnamah Season 1, Episode 13: “Public Buses & their Cheap Songs and Shampoo Rivalry”

Safar Badnamah, Season 1, Episode 12; “Death, Disgust & Billboards . . . I’m not completely lovin it!”

Safar Badnamah (Season 1, Episode 11) “Ungrateful People . . . Pakistanis by mistake?”

Safar Badnamah (Seaon 1, Episode 10): “Idiotic Media Channels; GEO, ARY etc . . . Protesting idiots!”

“Safar Badnamah (Season 1, Episode 9): “Cantt Station a Nightmare . . . Again?”

Safar Badnamah: Season 1, episode 8 . . . “Beggars & Wonders of Public Transport”

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Heba Moeen

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