Tales and Tails of Nehr-e-Khayyam - Episode 6

Monday, September 30, 2019 Heba Moeen 0 Comments

‘Treasure discovered in the depths of 



(Naala of yesteryear … beautiful canal of Naya Pakistan)

In a parallel universe, life continued post ‘FLY APOCALYPSE’, the indifferent human species did not cease to exist, and immunity was CPEC-ed too; a fly was considered protein while people thought it unwise to consider cleanliness being half faith. Immunity was only partially affected, being derided by the fly attack. It was the filthiest of times, it was the most hygienic of times, it was the age of economic boom, it was the age of hyperinflation! It was the season of CPEC, it was the season of Naya Pakistan! It was now or never, it was now or be doomed forever! Well … Charles Dickens much, huh!
Moving on …

“I used to be scared of the monsters under my bed until I got to be acquainted with change,” sighed Kuttay, “for change is a transition from your comfort zone to oblivion to … and until you reach the next comfort zone, you have to keep digging your hole deeper and deeper ...”
“Oh my dear Kuttay! Have you been watching a lot of X-Files lately? You sound like the half demented Fox Mulder … you need a Dana Scully in your life to balance it out.” replied Doggo and started humming ‘take my breath away’ by Berlin.

“You seem to be consuming a great deal of intellectual content lately … is something wrong … or rather has something gone right with your very existence?” questioned Kuttay while lying on the ‘Ghabrana nahi hai’ jetty.

Humans with QR codes printed on their napes roamed around and scuba dived into the crystal clear waters of Nehr-e-Khayyam. Those with tourist rating of over 4 were given a free tour to the deepest level where stunning mermaids were found.

The government had taken an initiative to clean the canal which did not require cleaning since there was no need, especially because of the phenomenal civic sense prevailing in this society (well okay … LOL, whatever). However, rumour had it that there was pre-partition treasure recently being discovered at the mermaid level of Nehr-e-Khayyam. Despite the denial of the authorities, more and more tourists flocked towards the spot, anticipating a jackpot while leading to remarkable levels of revenue being collected. As a result, the government started contemplating returning the last few Dollars owed to the IMF.

Apparently, the federal government had installed heavy machinery, excavating coal that unsheathed invaluable diamonds, and centuries old gold and silver coins (if you do not believe the writer, come and see for yourself … there is clay and slimy coal residue resting along the banks of the canal … you all have this persistent habit of denying the reality, NO? National issue huh!). 

A weekend magazine called ‘Naala Leaks’ had published the picture of some of the treasure that was discovered, estimating its value at Rs. 50 million. Since then, the editor of the magazine had disappeared keeping the nation guessing regarding his whereabouts. 

Conspiracy theorists said that he had been exported to China along with the naala dogs (oops … the scenic tourist, clean canal spot in Clifton) while some mentioned that he was sucked in by a flying saucer and dropped in China, face down so that he could not stand out from … well again, same conclusion. Duh! 

“Look! A mermaid! The raison d'être of our local and foreign tourists.” giggled Doggo. 

“What’s so funny?” asked Kuttay. 

“This being-watched-world is funny while life in general is sad …” expressed Doggo, “we are merely catalysts for the change in its mood.”

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