Tales and Tails of Nehr-e-Khayyam Episode 5 - ‘Raison d'être’

Friday, September 27, 2019 Heba Moeen 0 Comments

Naala of yesteryear … beautiful canal of Naya Pakistan)



“The world is getting Trumped sooner than expected … I know how it will end now ... It will be a political apocalypse,” sighed Kuttay while half-dipping in Nehr-e-Khayyam (and displacing water molecules of equal mass), “someone will make their country great again by building boundary walls among other things, some will make their country great again by Brexiting and colonising internally. As for us; we are the greatest of all, anyway … although we are merely existing, though at times it may be common sense so to speak …”

“But I like candy floss. It’s even better when it’s spread around the head of a great thinker, especially if it's blonde … It’s classy, you know!” exclaimed Doggo with excitement, as he jumped around, splashing water like the great blue whale.

“It’s a depiction of unhealthy stuff – sugar! And having it on one’s head casts a nonintellectual shadow anyway ... blow dried candy floss,” reasoned Kuttay.

Some foreign tourists stood in a long queue to reach the ‘Ghabrana Nahi Hai Jetty’ as they awaited their biometric verification to be able to have access to one of the most scenic tourist destinations. 

Everyone was getting a QR code imprinted on their nape one by one and their rating data stored ... it was a depiction of modern day assembly line. 

A pod of dolphins jumped out and into the water, much to the excitement of the zealous tourists. They waved flags that read, ‘I love<3 span=""> CPEC’. One notorious dolphin had a fin-sketched sign that read: ‘Once a British colony, now a CPEC monopoly!’

“Damn this acquiescence!” exclaimed Kuttay, “Now they will also start saying ‘baji 5 stars dee jiyey ga’ after meeting the dolphins and all their travel data will be stored on that one silly QR code.”

“At least it’s better than Elon Musk’s idea of the brain microchip that will connect people’s cerebral hemispheres with the internet. Imagine someone talking gibberish because that person’s brain got hacked by the Russian hackers ... or entire nations voting for candy floss blonde individuals,” giggled Doggo.

Something colourful, yet creepy dropped out of the scrubs around, making both dogs run for their lives … though they remained restricted to their designated dog spot which they were confined within. 

“Today I’m part pink, part yellow,
I was somewhat relaxing on a rose, and stretching my tail on a sunflower.
Oh I am lovely, I am mellow,
I’m like a colour switching politician seeking power!”
“Well hello there! Gentle … errr … dogs … I am Bashir.”

*Lynn Anderson’s rose garden plays in the background*

“What brings you here, you something?” asked Kuttay.

“The resplendence of nature, the abundance of trees and touristy vibes bring me here, as I show off my colours amidst the burgeoning gardens of Nehr-e-Khayyam. What about you two?”

“Oh you know what? We’ve been here since forever; we were born to the soul of the garbage heaps when Nehr-e-Khayyam was toddling into a non-CPEC abyss. We belong to it and it belongs to us … Nehr-e-Khayyam is our raison d'être!”

With this, Bashir turned around, mumbling, “poor dogs …” and as his colour changes demeanour could have predicted, he yelled, “LIVE, TALKING FOOD AVAILABLE FOR OUR SOUTHEAST ASIAN TOURISTS … THE DISH IS CALLED RAISON D'ÊTRE!!!”

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