Nazia the Vampiress - 'Fangache' (Toothache) (Season 2, Episode 3)

Friday, August 10, 2012 Hiba Moeen 3 Comments

Disclaimer: Since SZABIST BBA/MBA is over, there might be a few characters coming up that you might not be familiar with, deal with it because it's time to step into the professional world. Besides, ever since the first season you have been constantly reminded that any resemblance to any character dead, alive, undead or haunting is nothing more than a coincidence. That is also the reason that this disclaimer is always at the beginning because people judge before they think. Anyway, I admire my readers.
Enjoy! Khee, khee, khee ... :D

Thesis was over, which ever respondent messed up with Nazia, ended up becoming her qualitative victim amidst the quantitative cost benefit analysis of the consumption of RBC's (Red Blood Cells). Scrooge was put behind bars facing life imprisonment for eating cats and making them extinct, Faraz was awfully hurt due to intense sunlight and went into isolation, while Toots was grounded by her parents when they got to have an idea about her friendship with shady (vampires) people. In the meanwhile, Shazia kept assuming herself to be a Werewolf ... ahhh, poor her, her state of mind.

"Aooooo! Aoooo!" uttered Shazia one night.

"What in the unemployed world is wrong with you, you bloody MBA?!" asked Nazia. Sometimes, it used to be pointless arguing with Shazia and it had become quite certain that nothing could make her change her assumptions that she was a werewolf, she did however have trouble with reality but this was contrary to the fact that she was completely human, though a psychotic one.

"Hey you know what? I'm practicing for the night of the full moon when I'll call upon those like me." explained Shazia.

Blood consumption had to be controlled in Ramadan and the respectable vampire brotherhood refrained from feasting on double faced humans because it affected their health. However, Nazia had been feasting upon some hazardous preys, for instance that sweet blooded little woman from the past and a few more (Season 1), while a recent jugular vein got to her health.
"I think I am dying, I'm worried about the validity of my fasts because of my tooth infection", Nazia told Shazia, "It's spreading like wildfire, I can't even open my jaw to quench my blood thirst and it's becoming difficult to sleep at night."

Shazia shot her a concerned look, "See first of all you are a vampire and that means you don't sleep at night anyway. Besides, stop sleeping like a bat, try sleeping like a human."

This got her somewhat defensive, "But I'm still half human! And I have started getting daymares (Vampire version of nightmares) about the How-Cow accident again. Oh I feel so touchy about my canines. Human blood like human these days has become impure ... I can't even lie down and sleep, I have to sit and forget that, I can't even sleep at all."

Nazia had attacked the jugulars of some tasteless humans recently and had been a bit careless about her dental health, it appeared that though human blood is slightly alkaline, those people ended up having acidic blood, with infected lymphocytes. This eventually started with staining her teeth and infecting her canines while causing periodontal ligament and pulp decay and fractures.

"So I already told you about a dentist who is vampire friendly and understands the sentiments of vampire secrecy ..." continued Shazia.

"I know but I'm still so cautious because the last dentist I went to ended up becoming my food, he treated me like a butcher and assumed me to be a goat. Shazia you can't believe what he did! He grabbed my central incisors and tried his luck at pulling my wisdom tooth out, still not sure which tool to use, it's not that he would have treated a vampire for the first time. But I felt like a goat that is being skinned before being slaughtered." 

"Hell no! You drank him up? Aaoooooo!" laughed Shazia.

"Grow up you silly human, you are not what you think you are or can be ... not even near a wolf." scoffed Nazia.

"No, no, my friend ... a werewolf." she corrected.

Nazia couldn't talk much because of her jaw ache/fang-ache etcetra, etcetra, "Ok whatever, you animal ... but then you came back with a swollen face last year, does that mean he is vampire friendly and not human friendly ... no wonder he fed you his tools that you broke, you crooked toothed human!" recalled Nazia with her uncanny canine bearing smile. "And on top of that he purchased customised tools because of you, you loss to a dentist, somewhat a debit entry to his account."

"Anyway I had been warning you against potentially harmful humans and your decaying teeth that's why I recommended that vampire friendly dentist. He has had others like you. But just incase he does anything wrong please don't drink him up, he won't treat you like a butcher at least." assured Shazia.

It was a stormy, post Iftar evening, amidst shopoholic syndrome engulfing the streets when Nazia had to make an emergency exist and fly to the dentist's.

"Ahh ...I see canines, that have been occasionally made blunt ... what have you been using? Let me guess ... sandpaper?! How do you sharpen them again before finding the perfect victim?" Asked the dentist with his series of non stop questions and dental explanations.

"W-wwhat victim are you talking about? And why would my canines need to be sharp whenever and for whatever?" asked Nazia sheepishly. No matter what kind of a strictly professional vampiress Nazia was, she couldn't lie, it was a birth defect, may be because she was half human, had she been a complete human, deceiving and lying wouldn't have been so difficult.

The dentist was quite amused at his discovery, "We are mature enough in our professional careers to know what I am talking about ... Shazia sent you right? She sent you here for a reason ... I think I know and you also know who you are ... all these kinds come to me." continued he with roaring laughter.

He examined Nazia's denture with excitement after getting to see specie uniqueness after a long time and marketed his profession really well to the point of making Nazia feel like switching her marketing profession with him. His clinic was in an unidentified jungle, surrounded by old trees and smiling owls where humans seemed to be few and because of this bewilderment it was difficult to find him ... no wonder only vampires could be recommended to such places.

After getting done with the v-pulpectomy (vampire's tooth pulpectomy) there was yet another discovery "Oh my God! Look! Another evidence ... there are four canals in your second molar. A perfect proof of a vampire tooth. How far will you go denying your true identity? I can bet upon my profession, this dental chair and my patient ghosts surrounding it that you are a vampire ... oh, well ... vampiress!" 

"What?! Ghosts? Oh goodness, don't tell me that ... I'm scared of ghosts ..." Nazia defended herself.

The dentist seemed a bit spooky himself, "I have had this dental chair since 200 weird years ... see that jar over there," mentioned the dentist gesturing at a nearby table showing an inch tooth in a preservative, "It belonged to Lord Mountbatten ... I have kept it as a souvenir ever since my visit to India when I pulled the unique tooth out." May be it was his way of scaring Nazia so that she doesn't come after his blood but whatever the story was turning out into, at least he did not treat her as a butcher and she was pleased that she wouldn't want to make him her victim and remain steadfast by the vampire code of respect for professional people. 

"I need to have blood sampling done ... I might need your help soon ..." he explained after his dentistry lecture about dental structures and teeth drills about carious and non-carious lesions. The paraformaldehyde filled into the broken canine and molar reacted into crystals to form formadeyhyde mingling well into her vampire blood stream. "A piece of advise for you ... never brush your teeth immediately after consuming human blood because it's alkaline and sticky and might cause further decay, thus compromising your specie instincts.

A few days passed when finally Nazia met Shazia again, it was a full moon's night and the wind had a slight evil touch to it. 

Shazia seemed to be acting a bit strange ... stranger than her usual crazy self ... more than she used to mentally but this night she seemed happy and evil both at the same time.

"Hey Shazia what's with the long brown hair growing at the back of your neck and arm?" confronted Nazia with uneasiness.

"AaaaaooooooOoOooOOOOooo!" Exclaimed Shazia.

"Oh Shoots! Hell no! exclaimed Nazia in a hopeless, horror inflicted state.
All of a sudden ...


If Only Agencies can be done this Favour

Friday, August 10, 2012 Hiba Moeen 0 Comments

It's 2:30 am, as I'm trying to sleep to eventually avoid becoming an insomniac zombie ... I happen to find myself browsing quite lackadaisically. Despite my continuing, lost faith in social media (lack of awareness among the masses ... you get to know in the professional world how much of a niche segment you belong to along with your education) I logged on to Facebook to find this shining gem.
The brand team might think that agencies are capable of doing some magic or that they don't have any other work to do than to pamper their brand only, hence, it's demands all the way and an inevitable incapability to request let alone be treating someone with respect. So point 1 is to be agreed upon with respect.

Point 2: Well ... NO! Your agency will always be paid peanuts in return for all the hard work and there are chances that reasons are found to deduct whatever is being paid. While you go an extra mile, your legs could be broken for taking that efficient walk of going that extra mile. So professionalism? What professionalism? There are chances it never existed in the first place.

Point 3: Making up that already worked up mind? No, don't even ask for that because a sentence said a moment ago will be contradicted with the next and yes eventually that too is the agency's fault.

Point 4 & 5: Take designing for that matter, it's always the agency that has a designer, how else would the brand team have the expertise of designing something without having a designer? Constant revisions are interesting for them, not the agency ... while not knowing how something is done, still asking for changes is a great way of wasting time. So a big applause for the geniuses!

Point 6 & 7: Oh being rude comes with the package, besides, why would they care about bad feelings? There might also be a total lack of appreciation coupled with deliberate bad feelings.

Point 10: Giving credit is out of the league when the brand might hire someone to invent issues in the agency.

Point 11: Hahahaha! Paying invoices on time?!?! You've got to be kidding ... the brand would want every task to be accomplished before time and paying on time does not match this criteria so beware. You might be made synonymous with a beggar in return for reminding about the payment.

Point 13: Despite good work done by the agency, the team could be feeling bothered about why they hired you in the first place and would be constantly thinking about saving the peanuts they are paying you, that too, not on time. The problem lies in not trusting and not allowing innovation. There are good chances that the agency knows a brand's target audience more than the brand itself because it is the one that directly interacts with consumers.

Point 15: Knowing what they want? oh well as they say, 'ignorance is bliss'.

Point 16: A contract is one main thing, however, irrespective of the fact that you have under committed and over delivered, you could still be treated with disrespect and lack of trust. It takes a very sane and decent client to respect your work. Some brands are respectful towards their agencies while some would be so full of ...

Here's an interesting writeup or maybe a love (divorce) letter from the agency for it's client: