Nazia the Vampiress (Season 1, Episode 3) “A New Discovery”

Sunday, July 04, 2010 Heba Moeen 2 Comments

Nazia could not believe what she just saw . . . It was a he and that he was a vampire too and just like her he was stealing blood and that too from the same hospital . . .
“Akbar??!!! You also? Yyyyy . . . ewe!” she stammered and was horrified to find out that some other friend got to find out who she really was and what her past was.

“Meow, howdy!” Akbar uttered and flashed back a vampire grin, “You thought you were the only one? I couldn’t help limit my consumption, I am a fatty!” he exclaimed in his routinely mocking fashion.
“I could sense the presence of somebody like minded around but kept on convincing myself that there is no one . . . Were you following this blood trial to quench your thirst?

“I had been noticing where you went after fourth time slot classes other than that poor little communication teacher you had been drinking away. Well, shame on you. Facebook is not the only place I stalk people or rather victims at times . . .”
Nazia was listening to his words very carefully but could still not consume the reality of another friend to be one of her own kind. It always was fun listening to how he used to have a bad time with obese ladies while being a fitness trainer, fat bulks of over smart cellulose always disgusted him and once when he was describing one of them, Nazia almost puked but Toots changed the subject back to studies to make her feel better.

For a person as diverse as him, being a vampire was an additional trait but why did he have to steal blood samples like she was doing in the hospital right then? Did he also go through the ‘How Cow accident’? Or was he simply lazy to make use of his canines?
One day when all three of them were sitting together after 8 am class staring at the huge potato on the front page of Synergiser, the library seemed bleak and he looked pale as a vampire when lacking iron and other blood supplements, in simple words he looked as malnourished and thirsty as a hungry vampire. Just when he started talking about the campus’s disappearing cats and how much he adored them alerted Nazia and gave her a feeling that something was wrong.

Now the question was, ‘How would Toots be able to digest the fact that her very best friend . . . Yes another very best friend was a vampire too?’ This thought worried Nazia and she had a bad habit of thinking about problems too much and almost forever, and to an extent that her head would start hurting.
“You never told us you were also something like what explains why we are here . . . Why do you need to steal blood samples like me? What’s wrong with your teeth? questioned Nazia.

“I just got my teeth whitened up and some people have dark blood like their black hearts,” explained Akbar, “It leaves stains on my teeth, last time I had to use Ariel to let my traits be a secret,” he confessed. “Then I used Surf Excel because ‘Dirt is Good’. However, when it translated into stains in Urdu the meaning was just disputed and contradicted . . . You know taglines and strategies should be carefully devised and transliterated especially when it’s a global campaign . . . And then . . .”

 “Ok! That’s enough . . .” exclaimed Nazia quite defensively. “You don’t have to discuss the Advertising course over here; my B+ sample has started clotting already. Hey you have a straw?”

“Uh oh! Yes I had them but forgot at your first victim’s place . . . Khee khee khee!

Nazia went red with shock. “Hey she has been mine since the second semester, keep your teeth away from her! Oh I mean your straws. By the way, Toots was really down today; during her entrepreneurship movie project somebody called her a beaver, then a rabbit and well I remember you were one of them.”

Akbar had just found some chilled blood samples and was now enjoying his moment of different blood group frenzy. “Well how can I forget the rabbit smile she had on her face while distributing popcorns during her entrepreneurship presentation and her beaver smirk when I couldn’t make it on time for Mr. F’s advertising class according to Mr.F’s standard time that is . . . Phew! His watch is ahead of Pakistan, he plays nursery rhyme tricks when somebody is just in time but late according to his watch . . .” Akbar went on and on . . .
“Hey studies obsessed vampire let’s think of a way to cheer her up rather than comparing her cheek co branded smile with cute animals . . . But beaver! Oh come on!

Their conversation, rather an argument related to another friend of theirs was interrupted by a shrilling scream echoed by horror and pity. The blood that meant a lifeline was happily being stolen by thieves and that too weird beings that were only human by some percentage, the accuracy of which could only be determined by ‘Trust Me I’m Human Test’. It was an awestruck,  sleep deprived house officer who definitely had now lost his sleep for days and fainted . . . fainted and fell to the ground with a loud thud creating a sound as if a melon had fallen surrendering to gravity.

“Wake up! Wake up! What just happened?” asked both the breathless nurses trying their best to get him back to consciousness. Finally he woke up, as cold as a dead body. “Lizzzzzzzzzzzzz . . . Lizz . . . Aaaarduh! Oh lllllll . . . Over there, I just saw! A Lizard!” He finally found his lips coordinating with his vocal cords. It was as if lightening struck him.

Both Nazia and Akbar let out a sigh of relief from the corner they were hiding in. ‘Baby!” Akbar joked. “Let’s fly off!” whispered Nazia and silently they took their invisible flight off the unlocked window. Boring days had started since exams had ended, jobs seemed absent but just idle vampirism; however, it was time to start writing for her group of friends’ blog where both of these vampires had contributed earlier on other than other blogs they wrote for. It must be noted that vampires have a special flair and passion for writing and when they become marketers they write rants too.

Nazia was awfully tired and somewhat frightened too, thanks to that house officer’s scream that still echoed in her ears and she developed ringing in them for quite some time. She switched her computer on and went online to play the same game where she was on a car racing spree, a linked shared by some friends. Since a few hours she was crazily playing this game and challenging others as to who would get the highest score. The link was saved in her browser window:

All of a sudden she realized she had forgotten something in the hospital, something awfully important, it meant so much, how could she have forgotten that . . . Her fingers swayed away from the keyboard as she stared at the monitor with a vampirishly blank look until it shot back in caps, “Game Over!”
How could she have forgotten . . . 

Disclaimer: All characters in this story are imaginary. Any resemblance to anyone dead, undead, haunting or trying to live is simply a coincidence. Don't start assuming things, try educated guesses . . . The brands mentioned in this post are real, even the picture of this cat is real, I mean the cat really existed in the campus mentioned (in the story :P). And Believe me it has disappeared . . . 

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  1. OMG!!!! hahahahahahaha hibaaaa!! I looooove it!!!! :D:D:D:D

  2. hahahahahahahaha!