"Random Campus Humour"

Sunday, November 21, 2010 Heba Moeen 0 Comments

Looks like someone was really feeling hungry to have done this to the canteen menu board at our school ... since my phone wasn't sufficiently dead those days, I decided to snap a picture :


And then it was Sunday, we were made to attend a rescheduled class that lazy day, some student had also played around with instructions displayed by administration on the class wall:


Milo tetra pack had been happily glued to the wall over here ... right next to the authoritative instructions ... so you see and feel the fun of doing something that is prohibited? :D

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“Eid and Those Wonderful SMS Greetings … Same Message, Gotcha!”

Wednesday, November 17, 2010 Heba Moeen 0 Comments


I woke up this noon to find my phone updated with a lot of Eid greetings, ok this Eid my isolation and late sleeping hours explain my phobia but since I try not to be rude I replied each friend/acquaintance one by one, personalizing each text message as it came along, addressing people by their names and later texting those I hadn’t greeted yet.

It took me half an hour to reply and text but what’s worth noticing is that some of us actually forget to correct grammatical errors and at times even the name at the end of Eid text messages, apparently the message forwarded by a person is originally from someone else and that too happens to be from some other person that you don’t even know.  That’s how funny it is that either we are in a hurry or too engrossed in our ‘Eid is for Sleeping’ slogan that we do not notice such minute details.

Today some had forwarded the same message that they loved, “Eid Moo-Barack to you and your family!’ This seems to be hit not just on facebook but has recently become a text message charm. I remember last Eid I got a message with a grammatical error, it read something like this: “Eid Mubarak to you and your family, may this Eid brings you a lot of happiness and blessings.”

Well the next person to forward me the same message was my very own friend who had not bothered to change the mistake but thank fully the name at the end. When I replied back she told me that she had just woken up and was too lazy and sleepy to change the mistake and had forwarded the same message to several other people, that’s how funny these messages could get.

One of the messages was, “Wish you a very happy Eid Mubarak.” I believe it’s either “Happy Eid” or “Eid Mubarak” how can it be both?

For the Nokia loyal market in Pakistan it can well be targeted with a built in message for Eid and occasions like these … after all we represent a good segment of their total market and shouldn’t be considered a niche, otherwise, it could turn out to be a market gap made use of by competitors… Ignore us and let go of an opportunity!

Eid Mubarak to all! May we have peace in our country, a sensible economy and most importantly; sensible politicians! :)

For people like me whose exams are around the corner … happy studying! :D

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Life goes on ...

Thursday, November 11, 2010 Heba Moeen 0 Comments




Sun rises ... sun sets,
things change ...
some for a reason, some without one.
Life goes on ...
People come to mark an existence,
people leave to create history.
Life goes on ...
Many who were there in your past,
barely make it till your present.
Friends you lose on your way;
later become a memory too arrant ...
When finally you succumb to lonely despair ...
you realise there was so much in past to amend and repair ...
... because life goes on ...

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Safar Badnamah (Season 1, Episode 15) “It was flying!!!"

Tuesday, November 09, 2010 Heba Moeen 4 Comments

Safar Badnamah (Season 1, Episode 15) “It was flying!!! And those sons of the same Bitch!


We are living up to the rule of our Quaid for having a work day tomorrow, a study day rather for not having an off. Well what’s the point of getting an off for no special reason at all …How are we benefitting Iqbal or the country by taking a day off? Ok .. ok … I’m being I don’t know what …

Today was an epic journey … it could have been the last for many in that over crowded bus and thanks to shopaholics for gifting us with a beautiful traffic jam …

I left home pretty much on time later unable to cross a pretty easy road not knowing what the bus ride would be like today. 

These buses follow a strict time schedule otherwise the drivers get fined, I waited for my 5:30 pm bus but there seemed to be no movement on the road amidst the steamed menu of a wonderful traffic jam. My bus was 10 minutes late but it did come. This chaos was making the already frustrated drivers more annoyed in both Pushtou and Urdu alike … The so called or so seemed educated people rather were at the throats of not at fault so called ‘uneducated’ Pathan bus drivers. It took me a good half an hour at Khalid bin Waleed Road with traffic pouring in from all sides of the roads like hot tea on vulnerable skin … it was more like acne … arghh!

The bus was hardly moving, the next thing I know is that it was flying!!! It was flying never to stop again!!! And you know what?!?!?!?! It continued to fly even on the flyover. There I saw tiny clustered sparkles of ruby and diamond on the road underneath … Shahra-e-Faisal … ahem … I mean they were lights of jam packed vehicles. The bus continued to fiddle with inertia and fool around with gravity with I’m sure one side up in the air a little … I grabbed the nearest pole to keep from falling to the other corner of the bus … if that crazy driver’s driving style could try dragging a fat person like me to the other side of the bus in ‘flying motion’ what could it have done to somebody thin? 

The bus was flying I mean it! And so were people inside it. It was flying sideways, in waves … anything but in one straight path! There was a woman with a very tolerant baby who was sweating because Karachi’s weather is still undergoing mood swings. I witnessed the horrified motherly love for her baby and rose lipstick adorned lips reciting prayers, the mom urged the driver to drive like human beings though in a very civilized way but he was too high on his dose of traffic jam. In less than 10 minutes we were at Regent Plaza …

What came next was the heritage of traffic related problems … yes Jinnah Hospital, all the way to Cantt Station. People were cursing and abusing each other, there was one way traffic on both sides of the road which puked indigestible vehicles from all over … The motherly love; those three ladies decided to get off for the sake of their babies at least and take a rickshaw instead … The bus driver made a failed attempt at flying the bus with vehicles stuffed around! Give me a break! The bus hadn’t grown wings yet… Oh dear … and then when the road cleared again, oh my God! It was flying again! It probably was fueled with Red Bull instead of diesel … Rs 17 was too less to ask for in this plane then …

Thankfully I was able to reach Dou Talwar though awfully late, I reached school a little around 7:00 trying to be nice to my lungs while almost flying myself, it wasn’t quite a walk neither was I running …
I made it! I made it! I made it to class! I wonder what those many shopaholics wanted with us today; it seemed as if all of them decided to pour down at once! You can’t blame the goats and cows, there weren’t any being transported … none that I saw and well … goodness! You don’t want my opinion on the act, ‘shopping’.

I remember on the first day of this semester, something went wrong in the city and our classes got cancelled, it was that tantrum producing  huge baby in London and his obnoxious acts in Karachi that shook our city again. I went with my friend (Paras) to her place waiting to be picked up by my brother there …

Today she told me that her 3 year old nephew was getting ready and had changed to come meet me but I had left already … He was so sad for not being able to meet me but he really admired me to an extent that he wants to be named Hiba as well! Hahaha!

My class ended and it was time to wait for the bus at Dou Talwar again … I waited for about 10 to 15 minutes and wanted to look so ugly and scary that I could scare the hell out of perverts … Bloody, dogs! Stalkers in cars. One stopped honking his horn like shit asking me in, then within 5 minutes another stopped by gesturing the same crazy shit! I wanted to damage his car and I mean it! I really wanted to smash that bastard’s windshield with a rock if only my bus hadn’t come then. I could have beaten the crap out of him … Those two were probably sons of the same bitch! I have seen weird women coming in front of cars at that place at night but I’m sure I don’t even look close to what they are like … I didn’t believe it first but they have a dress code.

What was a flying and stuck experience on my way to school turned out to be a slow donkey paced ride on my way back home but it was pretty smooth without reminding what death could be like …

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Nazia the Vampiress (Season 1, Episode 7) “Glow in the Dark Vampire”

Saturday, November 06, 2010 Heba Moeen 0 Comments

Disclaimer: Ok here we go, disclaimer is at the beginning … All characters in this story are imaginary. Any resemblance to anyone dead, undead, haunting or trying to live is simply a coincidence. Don't start assuming things, try educated guesses . . . if you still fail and relate them to real life characters, it’s not vampires’ fault, you were warned already …

Nazia wasn’t yet over with absorbing the fact that Faraz is a vampire too when suddenly she jumped at the sound of the firm knock on her window. She tried to use her invisibility traits but immaturity only rendered her unsuccessful, she started blinking. The window open with a strong, roaring gale . . .
“Mommy!’ she exclaimed.

“Day and night I work like hell to fix this home but you guys are sure to make a mess! Problem with dinner, problem with everything, why would you like home made food when you have got so used to restaurants! Your cat was roaming inside the kitchen again, couldn’t you check?! Her mom fired away. With that she gave a flying kick to the cat and it went running away where it came from; the floor outside. But self respect was missing in that cat, it never was content until it got a kick from her mom.

That glutton was always at the verge of purring it’s way in as soon as the door opened and if it continued to annoy her mom Nazia was sure that she would chop down the cat some day to serve Scrooge some cat chops and cat biryani … sounds yucky indeed.

Nazia would have killed to be invisible someday other than Gtalk and Facebook alone; she could only consume her invisible potion for these two PC gadgets but could not become invisible in real life. How nice it would have been to hide away, hide your past, change identity with the new you, be invisible and not to let anyone know you well enough … ahhh!

Just when she was lost in her deep torturous thoughts she saw neon light getting brighter and brighter outside her window, it made her jump her way towards it …

“What the heck! Scrooge and Faraz! What are you both doing flying over here?! She asked.
“Just checking up on you and your cat! Blinking vampiress.” spoke Scrooge.

“Stay away from this building cat of mine, it’s well fed but not meant for you!” Nazia snapped, “What’s with this incandescent light? Have you had a reaction with bromine crystals or alkaline confused, dengue infested water? Vampires are not supposed to show off and get noticed like that…”

“Well we got together to discuss a local company’s penny scheme meant to circulate interest and have a profound effect on the monetary policy …” explained Faraz “Oh I’m so proud of the penny scheme … oh my pennies! Oh my pennies! Fled with a diversified company! Yey!”

They were both flying together, hand in hand, glowing together with their wide eyed fiery looks.
“But why the heck is Scrooge glowing??? You know you both should be at home before the demon’s tantrums shake the city again.”

“Oh his fondness went to attack some animals but got inspired by a frog who had consumed a light bulb … he ate it up and now he thinks he is an entrepreneur with a bright idea. Poor Scrooge and he is high on cow blood now that Eid is around the corner.”

                                           Photo courtesy: www.nationalgeographic.com
 
“See my motto is ‘if you can’t beat your purchasing power, drink it’ heahahaha!” uttered Scrooge.
Nazia pitied him for the blood reaction he had just had, he wasn’t awake and was vamleeping with bulging eyes (vampire sleep). 

 Toots would be so devastated if she knew her friends were vampires and that too unclassified ones. However, Nazia waited for the right time for the reality to unfold itself.

“You know I was thinking about the cocoa butter cream’s target audience and group honey mooners we discussed in Mr. Sinclair’s class …”

“Oh the glowing vampire! He is cursed!” interrupted Nazia’s mom, “he must be exorcised with Surf Excel’s pH level solution!” 

“No mommy he just ate a frog and that frog had eaten a light bulb, eventually he is glowing!” defended Nazia, “but wait a minute … oh … this syndrome… Faraz why are you glowing as well?”

… To be Continued …


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